What Did You Expect?

We all want to be hopeful. We try to be optimistic. But often it just isn't our nature. I was reminded of this one beautiful, spring afternoon when I worked at a nursery and retail garden center. A customer spread her carefully-chosen selection of plants on the counter in order to pay for her purchase, and confidently stated, "I know I'll kill every single one of these." When I asked her why she would make such a statement, she replied, "Because I've killed every plant I've ever tried to grow. I even killed Kudzu once."

Anyone who has ever lived through a summer in the Southeastern portion of the United States knows what Kudzu is. They understand its capacity for growth in horror-story proportions. I've seen entire houses that have been overtaken by Kudzu in a matter of a couple of growing seasons. Part of its "Super-Plant" capacity for growth can be attributed to its resilience, it's capability to endure the most threatening conditions. It thrives on neglect. Its growth becomes extremely difficult to control because the plant is nearly impossible to kill. So quite naturally, I was surprised at the fact that this woman had killed Kudzu.

It was a high school science experiment, she went on to tell me, where she was required to propagate and grow a plant. Someone had suggested she try "the impossible-to-kill plant" - Kudzu. So she did, and she promptly killed it. Since that time she had convinced herself that there was not a plant on Earth that she would be able to grow. In her mind, nothing could survive her horticultural inadequacies. "So, why do you keep buying and planting plants?" I asked. "I guess I'm hoping to find that one plant that I can't kill. But so far, no luck. I just have a black thumb." The name of the garden center where I worked was The Green Thumbs. I always tried to combat that often-used "black thumb" phrase by telling our customers, "No one has a black thumb. You simply have to find the right plants for your gardening style." She didn't buy it - my statement, I mean. She bought the plants, but joyfully strode to her car smiling and assuring me that in less than a month's time every plant she was taking with her would be dead.

It's so sad to see people with such low gardening expectations. That's one of the reasons I love to watch children as they learn about planting seeds and growing plants. When we tell them what's going to happen to that little six-pack of petunias as they dig the hole and bury the root ball, their faces beam and their sparkling little eyes grow wide with excitement and anticipation. They believe that what we're telling them is actually going to happen, and they can't wait to see it. That's what gardening is about - expectation, anticipation, and the hope of something beautiful.

When we seasoned gardeners buy our annuals, perennials, vegetables, shrubs or trees, we do everything that we know to be right for those particular plants. We plant them in the right kind of soil. We put them in a location that receives the proper amount of sunlight or shade. We place them in an area where they will have adequate moisture. Then, we wait; and we expect the plant to grow and to thrive because that's what the plant is supposed to do. Why should we expect otherwise?

The failures we experience in life often plant seeds of doubt in our minds. What my less-than-optimistic gardening friend didn't realize about the death of her Kudzu plant those many years ago is that she probably did one thing wrong. More than likely she gave her plant too much water. Not understanding that this drought-resistant plant required very little water, she probably gave it the same amount of water that a typical houseplant would require. When her Kudzu began to show signs of stress because of too much water, she probably mistook those signs as indications of needing more water. More water led to more stress, which in turn prompted her to provide more water, until the poor plant eventually succumbed. One mistake. One failure at the very beginning of her gardening experience convinced her for the rest of her life that she didn't have what it took to be a gardener. She doubted her abilities until she believed a complete lie about herself.

Let me stop here and point out something about this young woman. She is not one who lacks self-confidence. She's a real go-getter. She plunges headlong into tasks with grit and determination. Don't mistake her doubts about her gardening abilities for a lack of belief in herself. She believes she can accomplish a lot through her hard work and persistence. But gardening is her area of weakness. The only thing she believes about her gardening abilities is that she has none.

Don't we all have those areas? Isn't there at least one aspect of each of our lives where we doubt? Don't we all have at least one single facet of our beings where we simply don't expect much of anything?

I had one such area revealed to me once in a quite surprising way. It was very early on a Sunday morning. Just a couple of months prior to this particular day I had agreed to substitute for the teacher in our ladies' Sunday School class. I had never taught Sunday School. I had never taught any sort of class at all. But I had agreed to teach on this particular Sunday, and I was a bundle of nerves.

As I got ready for church, I became ill. It was a stomach ailment that came upon me suddenly and fiercely. There was not enough time for me to try to find a replacement to teach the class. But there was no way I could leave my house with the effects of this illness. I couldn't make sense of this. I knew God had led me to agree to teach the class on this particular morning. There was not a doubt in my mind about that. But if that were the case, why would I be sick? Why would He allow this to happen? What was I going to do?

So, I prayed a prayer of desperation. I asked Him to take the sickness from me if He wanted me to teach the class that morning. Just one prayer. Just one sentence. In less than sixty seconds the illness was completely gone. No effects of illness at all; no more nausea, not even a "queasy" feeling. It was like "instant health." It was the most amazing thing I had ever had happen to me. I couldn't believe it! That was the sad part... I couldn't believe it.

What had I expected? I clearly discerned God's voice asking me that very thing. I had asked Him to do it, hadn't I? Then why was I so surprised when He did it? And let me tell you, I wasn't just surprised, I was astounded... dumbfounded... astonished!

How many times in the New Testament is Jesus recorded having said to someone, "O ye of little faith..."? He said it to those who were worrying about getting more "stuff"; and to those who were worried about not having enough food. He said it to those who were worried that the storm would kill them. Worry seems to be a common thread here.

I had been worried because I couldn't do anything to stop my sickness. I had been worried because I didn't have enough time to assign my duties to someone else. I had been worried, not expecting things to get better. Lesson learned, right? From now on I would know that I should expect God to answer my prayers in the way He sees fit, right? From here on out, it should never occur to me to pray in any way other than expectantly, right?

So it would seem.

Object lesson number two.  My grandson, Rhyan, had been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. His medication wasn't helping much and his behavior at school was becoming a serious problem. His mother, my daughter Stephanie, was at the end of her rope.

Stephanie had been directed to a child psychologist who was highly recommended in the area of ADD. She had called for an appointment for Rhyan, and was told that it would be more than a month before the doctor could see him. She had no choice but to take that appointment and wait, with the promise that Rhyan would be placed on a waiting list in the event that anyone cancelled an appointment before then. There were several on the waiting list before Rhyan, and cancellations were rare, she was told, because the doctor was in such demand.

More behavior and class work problems arose with the passing of each day. Stephanie was losing hope. In her need to vent, and in desperation for some sort of help or advice, she would call me in tears. Stephanie called me again one night not long after our pastor had shared a message on "praying expectantly." I did a lot of praying for Rhyan and Stephanie that night. The following morning I awoke with a resolve truly to pray expectantly about this situation. I laid it out before God and asked Him, if it were His will, to do something about it that very day. I thanked Him for answering my prayer, and I left it with Him. For the first time in weeks I went to work without worrying about the situation.

Later that day I got a call from Stephanie. Her first words were, "Mom, you're not going to believe this!" She proceeded to tell me about the phone call she had received that morning from the receptionist of the child psychologist. There was an opening for Rhyan to see the doctor that very afternoon. Stephanie was on her way to pick up Rhyan from school and take him to the appointment.

Talking a hundred miles an hour, she went on to tell me that all five people who had been ahead of Rhyan on the waiting list had been unable to accept the offer of the open time slot. "What are the odds of that?" she queried. "I'm not surprised at all," I said. "Let me tell you something that you won't believe." I went on to tell her about my expectant prayer of that morning. "Wow! I guess God really does answer prayers," was all she could say.

That night when she called me to fill me in on the details of the doctor visit, she shared another fact that indicated one more way God had been at work in this event. At the end of the consultation, the doctor told Stephanie that it was crucial that she bring Rhyan back for a follow-up visit in one month. The change in his medication must be monitored carefully, and that time frame was critical.

Knowing how difficult it had been to schedule Rhyan's initial appointment, she went to the receptionist's desk prepared for a battle at best and disappointment at worst. It was going to be a near impossibility to get an appointment scheduled for Rhyan in exactly one month. She explained the situation to the receptionist, who flipped her appointment book open to the date that would meet the doctor's requirement of exactly one month later. At that point the receptionist looked up at Stephanie and informed her that Rhyan already had an appointment for that very day. It was the appointment that was made when Stephanie first called for Rhyan to see the doctor. Again... what are the odds?

But that's not all. As it turned out, the appointment Rhyan was able to get for his first visit to the doctor... the one that all five people on the waiting list were unable to take advantage of... wasn't a cancellation at all. As the receptionist explained it to Stephanie, she simply had never scheduled anyone for an appointment in that time slot. For some strange reason, she had just failed to fill in that time slot. She had never made that mistake before. But what did she expect? I had never prayed a prayer like that before.

Following a couple of instances like that, anyone with an ounce of faith would be convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that they could, and should, pray expectantly about everything. Why wouldn't they?

Object lesson number three. I was on my way to meet a family member during a very critical time in his life. He was awaiting a decision by someone that could possibly change the course of his life. Neither I, nor anyone else, could do anything to affect this decision. All we could do was to wait. My family member needed my comfort at this time, and the last thing I felt capable of doing was offering comfort. I was an emotional wreck. I couldn't let him see me this way. I had to be strong. I had to demonstrate faith. So as I maneuvered my car through the interstate traffic, I halfheartedly tossed up a prayer asking God to give me peace and strength and wisdom. Nothing happened.

For the next several miles I drove on with difficulty, unable to see clearly through the tears that I could no longer hold in check. Where was the peace I had asked for? Where was the strength? Why did I still feel like such an emotional disaster?

Then I thought about my prayer and how it had been prayed. It might as well have been bouncing around inside the car with me, trying to break through the roof and make its way upward toward the heavens. That's just how little hopeful force had been behind my prayer. Had I prayed that prayer expecting God to answer it? Hardly.

Once again I formed the words in my mind, "God, I need Your strength. I need to be filled with Your wisdom. Please flood me with Your peace." This time I focused on Him, not on my circumstances. I focused on His ability rather than my lack of it. This time I believed He would do it. I expected Him to do it. And He did. A peace beyond all description overtook me. I didn't know what I was going to say to my family member when I saw him, but I knew God would give me the words when I needed them. He gave me what I expected Him to give me, and then some.

Do I still find myself occasionally praying without truly expecting God to work? I wish I could say "no." But I can say that it happens with much less frequency now.

I've stopped thinking that if I pray enough prayers that maybe there will be that one prayer that God will answer... like my friend trying time after time to stumble across that one plant that she might not kill. I'm so grateful that God didn't give up on me as I learned to pray expectantly; watching for Him to answer in His own perfect way. I'm so thankful to Him for revealing to me my areas of doubt, and for showing me that His ability to answer my prayers have nothing to do with my capabilities. And I will be eternally grateful to Him for giving me the faith to believe that His Word is true; that the things He tells me will actually come to pass. Because, like gardening... isn't that what faith is all about - expectation, anticipation, and the hope of something beautiful?

"I waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord; and He inclined to me and heard my cry." Psalm 40:1 (Amplified Version)

"But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do." James 1:6-8